Moe's Pasta Bowl Gives You Italian for Less Dinero

Author: Dave

Close your eyes. Now, imagine real Italian pasta dishes for $8 an entree. OK. Open your eyes, get in the car and head to Moe's Pasta Bowl Italian Mix. Order the pasta. Wish granted.

On recommendations from friends, we brought the family of four (me, wife Kirsten, The Girl, 8, and The Boy, 4) to Moe's Pasta Bowl on a recent Friday evening. At Moe's, you do the ordering at the counter kinda like fast food ... but your service is more in line with a full-service restaurant. Friendly servers brought out our orders quickly (which wasn't surprising as the the dining area was lightly populated). The food tasted fresh. The atmosphere was pleasant. We liked the warm decor, dominated with hues of gold, but also liked that the dining area is well lit. We could see much of the kitchen, which we always like because you feel like there's nothing to hide. A cute, interesting touch: A large flat-screen TV in the main dining area was tuned to The Food Network, on mute with subtitles. My wife liked that ... she believes it shows that the owner really cares about food. (On this night, in between bites, you could soak up some inspiration courtesy of the Chef Jeff Project.)

Some people might wonder if the restaurant compares with Fazoli's, the fast-food "Italian" chain. We don't see much comparison. Fazoli's is food that anybody can make, given a pulse and a kitchen. Moe's food is closer to what you'd find in a classic Italian restaurant.

If Moe's Pasta Bowl were a rock band, Sauce would be the star lead singer. The pasta was nicely prepared, and so was the protein in our entrees. But, the sauces made the difference.

My Rigatoni and Sausage Classico had some kick, which I love. This dish contains rigatoni pasta, Italian sausage, onions, sweet peppers, basil and feta cheese in a spicy tomato sauce. Friends of mine had described the sauce as "zippy," and that about sums it up. The dish got better and better as I ate. I was left wanting more, which is always a good sign. Fact is, the portion was fine for me, but a little light on the meat ... if you want to beef it up, you might want to order the $2.29 side order of Italian sausage or Italian Meatballs.

Kirsten ordered the Farfalle Pollo, made with bowtie pasta, grilled chicken, sun-dried tomato, mushroom, pine nuts and parmesan cheese in a roasted Alfredo cream sauce. I was reading the other day in National Geographic that archaelogists found evidence of roasted pine nuts in Neanderthal caves 125,000 years ago ... and my wife found evidence during this meal that pine nuts can be just as delightful for modern-day humans. She also liked that the alfredo sauce was on the lighter side ... heavy, rich alfredo sauces tend to weigh you down, and Kirsten finds that heavier alfredo sauce doesn't taste as fresh. Her chief complaint was that a few of the mushroom stalks were "woodsy," and she had to spit them out. Otherwise, the mushrooms were tasty.

We also enjoyed the Caesar salad and its peppery dressing with fresh greens. In a word: Good.

DESSERT: Asked which dessert we'd like, my wife--drunk on her new-found power as a blogger--announced, "We'll take one of each." They cost about $4 each, but seriously ... we rarely do more than polish off one dessert between the four of us.

The canolis looked huge ... Kirsten commented: "I've been all over New York, and I've never seen a canoli that big." Our two canolis came home to our fridge, because we had plenty of cake to eat. The tiramasu was excellent, and the chocolate cake was a moist, satisfying treat that blended well with the scoop of ice cream and slathering of chocolate sauce.

When we got home and finally cut into one of the canolis ... it was extremely tasty and satisfying. This was a hearty filling, not as creamy as other canolis we've had. Kirsten said it has a cream cheese base with confectionary sugar ... and she was close. The norm is ricotta cheese, but owner/head chef Moe Alhussein says he uses marscapone, an Italian cheese similar to cream cheese, but higher-grade. (I will follow up with a special post about Moe and his compelling story.)


THE KIDS: One of the charms (?) of our 4-year-old son is that once you put a fork in his hand and put food under his nose ... he's absolutely unpredictable. There was a time that The Boy ate nothing but chicken ... and now he won't touch the bird, even deep-fried in McBatter. Not even macaroni and cheese is a safe bet for The Boy. He may like it at one place, and barely touch it at another. For the record, The Boy devoured Moe's Penne-Mac and Cheese. Almost ate it all. It's the small victories in life that are important. Mom tasted the mac-and-cheese, and she said it was good. Direct quote: "I'd eat it."

The Girl's palate is less discerning ... it's news when she doesn't like something at all. Did she like Moe's Stuffed Ravioli with Meat Sauce? Well, let me put it this way ... I was about one-fourth the way through my meal when I heard the girl mumble that she didn't get very much. She'd eaten all the ravioli and was begging for some more bread to soak up the sauce. I tasted the sauce ... it was good. (And her portion was fine, trust me. The Girl eats too fast ... a constant struggle.)

I'd give the place 4-1/2 out of 5 spoons in the family-friendly category. My only quibble is that the choices of side for kids are salad, soup or store-bought potato chips. Salad and soup, OK. But, instead of chips, some carrots and ranch dressing or a similar, simple health-conscious alternative would be nice. Many kids would not eat salad or soup.

OVERALL: Moe's Pasta Bowl Italian Mix is a good place for good Italian food at a reasonable price. Parents can find good food, and so can kids.

3-1/2 out of 5 spoons.

SCALE:
5 spoons -- a divine, out-of-body culinary experience
4 spoons -- top-notch establishment
3 spoons -- a good place to eat
2 spoons -- wouldn't recommend
1 spoon -- avoid at all costs

RESTAURANT WEBSITE

Black Friday Fondue was quite fun to do

Author: Dave

The day after Thanksgiving, while many other people were whisking themselves from Black Friday sale to Black Friday sale, we were grocery shopping for Fondue Night. My wife and I, looking for a different activity with the kids, thought that we'd try something that was both fun and tasty.

We've never done fondue before ... and I know why. It's not something you just decide to do at the last moment. But, cleaning our basement one morning we came across a couple of fondue sets that Kirsten's Grandma had owned. Next thing you know, we're pining for some fondue-fried fun.

Now, let me warn you: The fondue sets warn against doing this activity with kids. And, that's probably sage advice. Our kids listen to us really well at dinnertime. I wouldn't have done this if they were normally unruly -- and had they become unruly, we would have stopped.

Another warning: Follow all the instruction carefully. Do NOT use food that has a high moisture content -- a point we will be sure to remember next time. At one point, some shrimp popped hot grease on me and The Boy, 4. (We were both fine.) The shrimp just was not dry enough -- we should have patted it down with paper towels some more. That was the end of the kids cooking in hot oil.

We followed a recipe that turned a block of extra sharp cheddar into a melted bowl of extra sharp cheddar. In the other fondue bowl, we heated vegetable oil hot enough for meat ... yes, you can fry meat in oil with fondue, something that a few friends were surprised to hear.

On the menu: An insane amount of food that reflected our excitement more than our actual appetite.

The proteins were beef, bacon-wrapped beef, shrimp, bacon-wrapped shrimp, chicken, and (you guessed it) bacon-wrapped chicken. Oh, yeah. We also dipped Lil' Smokies in the cheese. Let me tell you, I didn't think the beef would be very good ... but I loved it the most. And, I thought my wife went way overkill by involving bacon, but what the heck was I thinking? Bacon's always a great add, and in this case made every meat better. Bacon-wrapped beef flash-fried in oil isn't going to make the ADA's list of heart-healthy alternatives, but it stole my heart during Friday Fondue Night. Kirsten and the kids preferred the shrimp, sans bacon.

To make things even tastier, we had three dipping sauces for the meat ... a choice of Schnuck's Select brand lime-chipotle marinade, Teriyaki sauce and a sweet red chili sauce.

You want to be really careful to cook the chicken and shrimp until done, but generally each of the meats took about a minute per piece to cook. Kirsten cut the shrimp in half and cut the beef and chicken into one-inch by one-inch cubes.

The vegetables were broccoli, cauliflower and zucchini. The zucchini was sliced thin. We also had some fondue fungus with a (mandatory, for us) batch of mushrooms. We either dipped them raw in the cheese, or we covered the zucchini and mushroom in a store-bought batter and fried them. The Girl, 8, and I were crazy for the shrooms after we realized you had to fry them long enough to really brown the batter (about 4 minutes) to fully cook the mushroom. We dipped the batter-fried veggies in Ranch dressing.

Yet another warning: Let each deep-fried food rest for a few minutes before eating them. Don't be a fool like me and try to eat them quickly ... I learned the hard way right off the bat. Fondue isn't as much fun with a burnt tongue.

For the cheese bowl, we had a Schnuck's bakery sourdough bread pulled apart into small pieces and some tasty Snyder's of Hanover pumpernickel onion pretzel sticks. Each went great in the cheese.

We couldn't finish everything, and had to dump the leftover fish and chicken, as well as the cheese. The leftover beef, veggies and bread items were saved for future meals.

We started the meal at 5 p.m. and took 2 hours to finish. It's easy to rush through meals on your way to do some other activity, but the great thing about fondue is that it's an experience that the family can enjoy ... and it forces you to slow down. We plan to do it again, soon ... probably after the holidays. (After skipping Black Friday, we've still got a lot of shopping to do.)

RECIPE: Kirsten's Show-Stopping Thanksgiving Stuffing

Author: Dave

Perhaps the most delicious thing I've ever eaten is my wife Kirsten's stuffing. I mean, who can argue with bacon, sausage, celery, onion, green peppers, jalapenos, apples, bread, a variety of seasoning and other goodies all cooked up and mushed together, then baked, and prepared as a "side" dish? Sorry, Turkey. My wife steals your Day every year.

I watched the process this year, taking photos along the way, to share here.

Ingredients:

Bacon - 1 lb.

Italian sausage - 3 links (1 hot, 2 mild)

Celery - 1 bunch

Apples - 2 gala, 1 Granny Smith

Green pepper - 1

Jalapeno peppers - 2 small

Onions - 3 large

Croutons - 1-1/2 packages of stuffing croutons

Bread - 1 round loaf of bakery rosemary-olive oil bread

Butter (or margarine) - 2-1/2 sticks

Chicken broth - about 4 cups (varies) to moisten

Cream of chicken soup - 1 can

Seasonings: Cinnamon, nutmeg and seasoned salt, salt, pepper, parsley, poultry seasoning, sage, crushed red pepper

Feeds: Small Army (seriously, 10-12)

Trivia question: What's better than the smell of cooking bacon? Answer: Bacon cooking with its good friend Italian sausage. This delightful aroma gets things off to a rousing start on our Journey to the Center of Thanksgiving Dressing. Kirsten cuts up the bacon and takes the Italian sausage out of its casing, then mixes them in a large pan over medium-high heat. Want to try this stuffing recipe your next Thanksgiving? Mix the bacony and sausagey goodness around every once in a while until its nicely browned. Remove from the pan and drain.

Chop, chop -- that's what you'll be doing for a while to the produce. You'll need small pieces so that they'll mix nicely throughout the dish. Both The Girl (8) and The Boy (4) joined us during this process. The Boy's an absolute natural, mowing through the apples (with oversight and some help). The Girl's more easily distracted, and therefore not as efficient. (We prepare the produce so they only have to dice. And, we give them duller knives, so it's a little harder for them, requiring some patience. That's OK. A few more minutes in the kitchen beats several hours in the ER, and it's worth it to get the kids involved in preparing your food.)

Now it's time for some new, tempting smells. Place the chopped produce in the same pan that cooked the meat (that meaty goodness flavor keeps on giving). Just like the meat, use medium-high heat. About halfway through, they get doused with cinnamon, nutmeg and seasoned salt. (Season to taste, yo.)

While the produce is cooking down, two bigger kitchen bowls make an appearance on the counter: Half the croutons and half the bread go in each. With thumb and forefinger, tear the bread into small pieces, (dramatic pause) as if your lives depend on it. Don't let the croutons and bread stare at each other across the dance floor like boys and girls at a 5th grade dance party ... mingle, people. Mix the bread throughout the croutons.

Meat, produce ... produce, meat. Yup, meat gets back into the action, joining the cooked-down produce in the same pan ... and meat's packin' butter. Use the remaining stick and a half of butter. The fat from that meat and butter is going to moisten that bread. When the butter melts and mixes throughout, pour the entire cooked concoction into the bread bowls in equal parts.

Ever know someone who always arrives fashionably late to your party? That's Chicken Stock. He comes to loosen up Bread and help bind the ingredients. This is where a feel for cooking comes in handy. Kirsten pours the chicken stock in the bread/meat/produce mixture, seasons to taste (with salt, pepper, parsley, poultry seasoning and sage) and starts a-mushin' with her hands. I am there, waiting for the magic words -- "chicken stock me" -- as she continues deep massage-stroking the dressing until declaring that it's time for some cream of chicken soup. (Where did that come from? Far be it for me to argue. I fetch a can and spoon into the mixture for more mushing.)

Finally satisfied that all the ingredients have meshed together successfully, Kirsten puts our newly formed stuffing in a tray covered with tinfoil for refrigeration. This dish was prepared a full four days in advance ... awaiting glorious resurrection on Thanksgiving Day. Bake the stuffing with tinfoil until it's warmed through ... Kirsten baked it at 300 degrees for 1-1/2 hours and then turned down the oven to 250 for another hour (as she prepared other food). She took off the tinfoil and returned it to the oven for another 45 minutes to crisp up the top. With no eggs in the creation, you don't have to worry about the stuffing being cooked as much as warmed. Your cooking time may vary ... our oven was opened several times to cook other Thanksgiving goodies.

Let us know if you try this recipe ... and don't hesitate to post questions. Kirsten says you can make your own modifications as you like ... hotter sausage, no hot sausage, no jalapenos, more jalapenos, different types of apple, different type of bread, ... whatever you wish. Our stuffing came out scrumptious, and had a nice rosemary hint to every bite.

(Poor Turkey. Don't sulk. You were darn good, too.)

FOOD TIP: A tangier, thicker Ranch dip using basic ingredients.

Author: Kirsten

The other day I made one of my family favorites to accompany our meal. I prepare 1/2-inch zucchini slices and double-bread them in Italian bread crumbs, Panco crumbs and parmesan cheese mix. You can do the breading ahead of time and then just fry them up right before the meal. My kids just go nuts for them, and I'm happy because they're getting some kind of veggie, even if it's pan-fried. Well, both The Boy and The Girl love them with Ranch dressing, and as my zucchini fried I went to the fridge for the dressing ... when I had a grim discovery. We were almost out of Ranch. I figured there was only about 4 or 5 tablespoons left.

The Girl, possibly trying out for a career in dramatic theater, cried out as if someone stole Christmas. She whined several times, "We're not going to have Ranch with this?"

I thought for a moment. Dinner was on the line. I'd just fried up a bunch of breaded zucchini, and instead of excitement I was facing disappointment from both The Boy and The Girl. Then, it occurred to me -- I could just use my bleu cheese dressing base to make the Ranch stretch. The kiddos and my hubby were very skeptical at first. They looked it over, up and down, considering whether their beloved Ranch dressing had been poisoned. They bravely tried some, and turns out that they loved it even more than just the dressing. It was tangier and had a fuller taste than plain Ranch . The dip also sticks to your food much better than dressing. Try it with your favorite commercial salad dressing for a better, full-bodied dip:

1/2 cup of mayo
1/2 cup of sour cream
salt & fresh ground pepper
1 tsp of parsley
4 to 6 tbsp of Ranch Dressing. (This amount is not etched in stone, please feel free to alter it your liking.)

Mix all and refrigerate. The longer you can refrigerate this, the stronger the taste. If you would like to thin this mixture out for a lighter dressing to dress your greens, whisk in a tbsp of milk at a time till desired consistency.

ABOUT US: And our zen philosophy on food

Author: Dave

Tired of fast food? Not happy with refrigerated box meals from the grocery store? Does a buffet restaurant turn your stomach?

Yeah, us too.

Our names are Dave and Kirsten. We have two kids, heretofore referred to as The Girl (8 years, 2nd grade) and The Boy (4, preschool). Kirsten and I will share the load on stlfoodies.blogspot.com.

To us, food is important, not just something to be slapped in a feedbag and rammed down your gullet. We rarely eat fast food ... and since Kirsten's awful experience with a chicken "nugget" at a McDonald's, we have yet to return to the Clown's house. (She found a big bone in a "nugget" and the manager, when learning about this vile discovery, offered a new 6-piece "nugget" order right away. Kirsten said in disgust she didn't want it, that she couldn't possibly eat another "nugget." The reaction? Disbelief and shrugs, but no refund offer.)

We had a mutual friend in a former life (before kids) who measured a successful meal by its quantity and price ... as in "as much as possible for as little as possible." Gerry Tramm (name changed to protect the guilty) led us to believe that Dining Nirvana could be found at Ryan's "Steakhouse," a restaurant I assumed would be at least on par with Ponderosa: Not good ... but edible. As I had done at Ponderosa, I ordered some sirloin tips, rather than just the buffet. Gerry would frown on this waste ... why pay extra to get an entree? There were tables and tables of various hunks and bowls and glops of food at my disposal. I should have listened to my Inner Gerry, because when the "sirloin tips" reached my table, the vegetables were steamed and I'm not certain what they did to the "steak." Everyone knows you grill sirloin tips and the veggies. Even Ponderosa knew this, so I would say the secret's out. I complained. They remade my meal, but it wasn't much better. The buffet was the same quality. All I can remember were the piles of plates collected on other people's tables. One couple must have had 15 half-empty plates piled up as if crafting a foul, college game of Jenga. Meanwhile, we came to a buffet and walked away hungry ... and queasy.

(Gerry, if you're out there, and come across this post ... know that we love you, and we hope your wife has shown you the light.)

On the other end of the scale, we don't think it takes an upscale restaurant to prepare great food. We've likely all been in a place, or heard about places, that will charge you generously for lackluster food. I'd rather endure a Ryan's with low expectations (and prices), than a Frou-Frou LaFancy's that fails to meet lofty expectations that come with the high prices.

Mostly, though, we don't eat out anymore. Most of our meals take place at the kitchen table. A lot of that is because my wife has that Knack in the kitchen -- that Ratatouille quality of being able to marry various foods and spices to create a gourmet-ish meal from humble beginnings. She's been cooking since she was 6, and has been her household's head chef since age 11 when her father died. While young Dave was heating microwaveable breakfasts and bean burritos in my rural Illinois home, halfway across the country young Kirsten was feeding her family roasts and baked ziti in the New York burrough of Queens.

Cut to the present ... we're married and raising our kids in the St. Louis burbs. I've shed my fondness for microwaveable meals, having been spoiled by my wife's cookin'. She's gotten accustomed to the St. Louis area, able to find some foods she dearly missed when she left New York, or at least find enough ingredients to cook some of her own versions. But, she still misses New York's food, especially the delis.

My hope is for Kirsten to share her recipes and ideas for good food, and how she does it on a family budget. Her main challenge will be recalling her recipes. She cooks by feel, which means she doesn't usually measure when creating in the kitchen. I've had coworkers ask for my wife's recipe on a dish I brought to a work party ... and I always have to tell them that Kirsten doesn't have a recipe.

We also plan to do little His-and-Hers opinions on restaurants and foods we try out. We want you to help us pick the restaurants. Our goal isn't to do every popular restaurant in St. Louis that's already been reviewed. You can find existing opinions of well established restaurants on The Hill and in downtown St. Louis and elsewhere. We may go to some of those places ... but what we really want is to "find" places that aren't already on the radar. These may be locally owned ... they could be a chain restaurant that may be new to you ... we won't know until we find them.

This is about FOOD, not just restaurants. One thing we plan to do is to visit as many farmer's markets as possible. Grocery products are also fair game ... we'll tell you about items we like or don't like. Will we skewer businesses when we don't like their food? I can't see that happening, but we'll be as honest and fair as possible.

Plus, we'll write reviews on TV shows or magazines or any other media with food-related topics ... just for fun.

This much is for sure: When we find great food, no matter the source, we're going to let you know. One thing I'd like to do is feature those people bringing us that great food. I want to know their background, their vision, their path to (or plan for) success. As a journalist by training, and with more than 15 years of professional writing experience, I look forward to bringing these stories to you, and have fun doing it.

And, that's the bottome line: We want to have FUN. If we're having fun, hopefully that will come across ... and give you some fun things to read, and good foods to try. To do this, we need you to get involved. If you would like us to visit and feature a local eatery, market, culinary marvel, etc., please email us. Want to share your ideas on food and cooking? Email us. We want to interact with you and learn together.

In a phrase: Let stlfoodies.blogspot.com be the place where St. Louis area foodies come together and share their passion for food. (Or, at least have fun trying.)

TV: We Love Us a Great Bleeping Heaping Helping of Kitchen Nightmares

Kitchen Nightmares is formulaic, predictable and contrived ... in short, it’s a reality TV show. Presented by FOX, no less.

So, why do we love chef Gordon Ramsay’s show so much?

It’s a perverse pleasure, admittedly. In every show, we wonder, “How did these people think they could run a restaurant?”

Running an eatery takes hard work, good judgment and experience, just like any business. Duh. Yet, some people’s faith in their ability to turn tables is puzzling ... they’ve never operated a successful restaurant, or they’ve run down a successful restaurant. Most baffling? When friends or family use their money, or dig themselves deep into debt, to front the business for someone who hasn’t earned their trust.

It’s FOX’s duty to find these people, and serve them up sashimi-style to acidic Chef Gordon Ramsay for a bleeping heaping helping of Kitchen Nightmares.

A classic example: A man named Vic, who already sunk one Mexican restaurant, talked his wife into getting her daughter to invest money and loans into a second, duplicate restaurant called Fiesta Sunrise in West Nyack, N.Y. Running any business can put a strain on a family. Running a horrible restaurant with few customers and mounting debt ... well, that’s a nightmare, all right.

Enter Chef Ramsay, the fiery Scot with world-renown chops behind an apron. The show’s formula is consistent: The down-and-out restaurant owners tell their story, meet Ramsay, take the brunt of his full-force and foul-mouthed honesty, defend the ghastly crap they’re shoveling to unwitting customers, and finally gain an epiphany before completing a roller-coaster-ride transformation.

Typical scenes:

- The restaurant’s owners/managers, after telling us their problems, welcome Ramsay to a meal. He orders three specials, picks through them, and is appalled. Ramsay’s colorful assessment might gauge whether the food is appropriate for a household pet, ranging from “This looks like a dog’s food!” to “A hungry cat wouldn’t eat this!”

- Ramsay makes a beeline for the kitchen and discovers woeful conditions. Caked grease, bugs, mold, week-old entrees dripping with grease—we’re never too surprised at what Ramsay might find in the belly of the beast. After building up to a crescendo of disgust, the chef spits out: “I ate this (expletive).” Everybody stays late and cleans. Old food is tossed in the trash, clearing the kitchen for new, fresh ingredients. Sometimes, Ramsay searches local suppliers such as farmers’ markets or fishermen to restock the kitchen’s cooler.

- The Chef gets to the heart of the problem—which usually lies in one person, heretofore cast as the show’s antagonist. Could be the chef, manager, owner or a combination. Ramsay goes Full Metal Jacket sergeant on this person (people), often getting bleeped for seconds at a time. You can imagine FOX’s censors chuckling as they slice and dice this scene into more bleeps than spoken word.

- Said antagonist claims that Ramsay is entitled to his opinion, but thinks he’s wrong. (Not bloody likely—didn’t you seek Ramsay’s help?) Ramsay doesn’t know if he can get through to these people—and he’s about to give up.

- After a night to think things over (well, that night and the hours and hours spent beforehand by the show’s research team), Ramsay comes up with a way to “reach” the antagonist and gets him to discover (or rediscover) his Passion. Alternately, Ramsay may chase off the antagonist, and instead reaches another person and gets him or her to step up to the plate.

- Relaunch Night is the show’s climax. Ramsay’s always got a great plan for “relaunch”—creation of a whole new restaurant, complete with an overnight remodel and scaled-down menu with mouth-watering entrees that feature fresh ingredients. Because it’s Ramsay and this is Kitchen Nightmares, the place is packed with hungry customers on Relaunch Night. As you can imagine, the staff always has a tough time adjusting to the menu and dealing with a full dining room. Just as everything looks like it will fall apart ... the staff reaches down and find its collective culinary heart.

- Ramsay addressed the camera at the end, declaring this was his toughest case yet, but pleased with the results. Will this restaurant continue the follow the path he’s carved? Ramsay wonders aloud.

Sometimes, in a typed message on-screen, we learn the restaurant’s fate. Seems like half the time, the owners end up selling and getting out of the business, anyway. Hmmm ... did they do it when they finally got their finances right, or did they sell at a handsome profit? How much value can you put on a restaurant makeover led by a world-class chef? We’d ballpark it at a few hundred thousand dollars. After all, it’s not unusual for the owner to be a quarter-million dollars or more in debt.

The show’s website has some choice scenes from the show and interviews with Ramsay. We became addicted to the show after watching one bleeping episode. If you watch, let us know what you think.

We give Kitchen Nightmares:

4 out of 5 Spoons